Sometimes I hate how much my depression meds affects my moods and energy levels. Specifically when I forget to take them and I get reminded what pre-meds me was like. Today is one of those days. So I’ve spent most of the day alternately antsy and unable to focus or depressed and on the verge of tears with a level of tired underneath all of that. Not fun.
All of that is to say that I don’t have it in me to write the blog post I intended today but wanted to still post something. Plus, I think this is something about depression and medication that should be shared— the difference really can be that drastic, but in a good way. I’m able to be myself, my real self, when I’m taking my medication. Not so much when I’m not. I don’t particularly like who I am when I’m not on my meds.
Part of the reason I’m doing this blog is, as I said, to document my journey in dealing with a mental illness. And this is part of it. My hope is that someone will read this blog and will maybe understand a loved one in their lives who’s dealing with a mental illness a little better or that someone who has a mental illness will know that they’re not alone in what they’re going through. All of that requires me to be honest in what I’m going through, the good, the bad, all of it. And that means admitting I do things like forget to take my meds and have a really crappy day because of it.
I think I’m rambling now, so I’ll stop. Tomorrow is another day, and it will be better, at least in part because I’ll remember my meds.